No complaining

I do not want to be up at 6:30am on a Saturday morning. How selfish is that. I’m up to get my 9 year old ready for Junior Bible Quiz Competition. He doesn’t really want to be up either. Maybe I shouldn’t feel so bad.

So while sitting outside waiting for his ride (because I have to go to the dentist again), I felt the Holy Spirit move. And though it’s early, if I was in bed I would miss the cool breeze that’s taking away some of the humidity. I would miss seeing the clouds moving in the sky above me. I would miss hearing all the different sounds from the birds and airplanes. I would miss the snuggles from the stray cat that has adopted us. I would miss the extra time with my son.

All of these things are moments others don’t get the privilege of having. Because they don’t have children for various reasons, they don’t have the gift of hearing and being able to see, and they may be missing Jesus in their life.

So I’m not going to whine. I’m going to sit here drinking my coffee, and be grateful for every single blessing.

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Water and Oil

I feel like the rooster in Moana with the coconut on its head running into the rock over and over and over and over again.

Rough night tonight as I fall apart wondering why being a stepmom has to be so hard. I’m falling apart wondering why people refuse to stand up for what’s right. Why do I get the bad guy rap when people outright refuse to communicate? How is it my responsibility to hound another adult for information that should be given freely?

I signed up to be a blended family, not a divided one. I signed up for the struggles but not the wars. I signed up to be unified with someone who I thought wanted the same thing. Instead I’ve gotten blamed, ignored, and ridiculed. And I’m the bad guy??

So tonight all I have left is prayer. Praying that my God gives me wisdom and guidance in these matters. Praying that I can remember I’m not alone, though I desperately feel so. Praying for the ability to cast my anxiety upon Him and to stop being broken and blamed for things out of my control. Praying for a feeling of freedom because I know I have done all I can, and praying the guilt I carry be banished though I am guilty of nothing but trying my best.

So yes I’m hurt and frustrated. And the sad thing is I’m not the only one in this position who goes through this. Many of us do and many us feel powerless and unsupported.

My question is how do I just let it go? How do I unsee?

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Don’t have one

Never mind the building corner and the street light. I was taken by the clouds. Can’t really think of what I’d call them except beautiful. Not man made, but God made.

A few hours later, not too far away I saw these. The blue and the trees and the softness of the clouds. God made,not man made.

Blinding sun, variety of clouds. All these pics I took in the same town not far from one another. But so different at any given moment. I’m in awe of God’s ability to set nature in motion to provide us with this beauty. How can you not appreciate having another day to witness this?

From morning to evening we should be grateful for every moment. The moments with our loved ones, the moments at our jobs, the moments we don’t stop and breathe in.

Genesis “…and God saw that it was good.”

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Roaming

It’s funny how we get to different places in our life and realize what does and does not matter. How many times have you thought that out loud? How many times have you given that advice to someone else? I’ve done both.

When you strip away all the material wants, all that unnecessary drama, you’re left with this beautiful thing God gave you. Right now I’m standing in front of my refrigerator, looking inside and I have absolutely no idea what I’m looking for. But what I do know is when I’m out in the middle of nowhere (pic above being that place) I have an overwhelming sense of gratitude. I have a sense of peace and freedom when I look at the skies and the plants and the rest of nature that God provided for us. I don’t want to leave it. I don’t want to go back to work and worry about bills and what’s for dinner the next day and is there enough laundry clean so I don’t have to match socks. (You know it’s true)

And God tells us not to worry about these things but on a daily basis we all fail to follow those instructions to a certain extent. Some fail more than others. And sometimes we fail because we’re constantly trying to share the faith and hope that we have with other people who refuse to see it. We can spin situations to a positive and we can remind others to have what we have in our hearts when it comes to loving our Lord. And I know that I get frustrated because that’s all I can do. I can plant the seed I can attempt to water it. Sometimes I’m pouring water on concrete.

It’s in those moments that the enemy finds a crack, a little hole to seep in doubt and cause you to question everything you claim to base your life on. Those are the moments in time you need to stop and think about what really matters. I’m working on it. Sometimes I get so caught up in the moment I lose track of the blessings. But I’m grateful to have the Holy Spirit to bring me back to where God intends for me to be. And I may not be where he wants me as of yet. But I’m searching for it and I’m trying to take his lead.

And out in the middle of nowhere is where I feel I can hear him the best.

**pictures are my own

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What’s Your Disability?


shut-your-mouthI hope everyone is ready for Jesus to return.  Cause this world is screwed up!  No one wants to hear the truth, no one wants to be responsible, and everyone wants to blame someone else.  Are you flipping kidding me?  I don’t let my kids say this to people, but SHUT UP ALREADY! (I typed it I didn’t speak it out loud)

 

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You Have a Purpose

IMG_4613“Those who think they can do it on their own end up obsessed with measuring their own moral muscle but never get around to exercising it in real life. Those who trust God’s action in them find that God’s Spirit is in them—living and breathing God! Obsession with self in these matters is a dead end; attention to God leads us out into the open, into a spacious, free life. Focusing on the self is the opposite of focusing on God. Anyone completely absorbed in self ignores God, ends up thinking more about self than God. That person ignores who God is and what he is doing. And God isn’t pleased at being ignored.”
‭‭Romans‬ ‭8:5-8‬ ‭MSG‬‬
http://bible.com/97/rom.8.5-8.msg
*pic credit Kammie Savidge

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Gone Too Long

IMG_4207

It’s amazing how fast time can go by.  Especially when you have those days that seem to drag on and on and on.  And they are still not over.  If you are fortunate enough, you are able to get some vacation.  And those days go by so fast your head spins and you have no clue how that happened.

 

 

 

 

 


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