Reminding myself there is always something beautiful to smile at.
Reminding myself there is always something beautiful to smile at.
It’s such a big decision! And you can’t pick just one. Or should you? Should you pick only one so you don’t look like a big jerk? Or just be honest and hold your breathe?
Apparently I like to look like a jerk. Because if you give me a checklist of all the things that provoke a response from me, it will be too full I’m afraid.
That doesn’t mean I’m joyful for that announcement. It means I’m a work in progress and trust me, I am working very hard. It’s the “do I need to respond” to this kind of work.
If I’m blessed enough to have you read my posts, then you have a good idea that I’m an emotionally driven person. I have a very clear cut view of fairness. For me, most things are black and white. Not much gray for most things. Geeez I have to work on it!
That being said, in conjunction with other things involved, I have to stop and take a step back when/before I respond. My provocation is usually hurt. I’m the first to tell you it comes out in anger, anxiety, or annoyance. Simply not using your manners, not using your turn signal, being inconsiderate, chewing loudly in my ear….you see where I’m going?
I have a responsibility to give grace. I have a responsibility to choose how I respond. I have a responsibility to set a better example for my kids. Especially when it comes to being Christlike.
And yet I find myself responding in many times not very Christlike.
I allow myself to be provoked to anger. That’s not of God. I allow myself to become annoyed and hurt as things approach that I have no control over. That’s not of God.
I have got to get better at falling on my knees and giving it to the one who has ultimate control. Because fear is not of God either. I can say that I’m blessed to be surrounded by some amazing people who love me enough to help me grow and learn through it.
As I move forward, I am hoping to stop checking the stupid boxes over and over. I have confidence that I can do this. Because I am a child of the most high. The only thing I need to do is provoke a love of life and Jesus in others.
I haven’t finished my first cup of life yet. My brain is not ready for outside intruders. My body is creaking as I move and cringing at the slightest sound.
It seems the older I get, the more quiet I feel like I need. I struggle with noise and early morning interruptions in my few moments of peace.
I can’t quite pinpoint if it’s the lack of sleep due to being uncomfortable? Could it be the overwhelming and drowning feel of anxiety? Probably both? I spend what feels like hours praying and attempting to lay it at the bottom of the cross, but obviously I’m not leaving it there.
There’s too much brain noise and I struggle to turn it off. Daily. Sometimes moment by moment. It’s constant discombobulating movements as I work on leaving the sounds of the negative noises behind me. One minute at a time.
“Therefore I tell you, do not worry about your life, what you will eat or drink; or about body, what you will wear. Is not life more than food, and the body more than clothes? Look at the birds of the air; they do not so or reap or store away in barns and yet your Heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Can anyone of you by worrying add a single hour to your life?”
2 down. Believe it, I have lost two staplers inside my home. I’ve looked in all my random places where I’ve “lost” things. The linen closet, pantry, laundry room, and refrigerator. Just to be sure I’ve even checked the backyard. Cause it’s completely possible that I went outside with it in my hand to get something else, and then left it there. I’m just that awesome.
So now I am on stapler number three. But this little gadget that makes tons of tiny holes in the wall is a best friend of mine.
But I use it as a way to share great things and a way of life that’s important for my children.
It keeps the above on my son’s wall. It’s been moved many times. But my trusty little stapler was there to help me out.
And my daughter’s room is covered with her love for Jesus. If you ask her, she’s going to marry God. And I’m not steering her toward anything more worldly.
And my next wall attachment will be for my beloved teenage son. I made this for him a while back. He had a rough day, and we all have those. But he was really having a good one, hence the sign that met him on his mirror when he got home one evening. And you know what? He didn’t throw it away.💙
So my little trusty new friend will hopefully be around this time for a while to keep putting up reminders about how loved they are by our Creator.
My son doesn’t care for water unless it’s cold and flavored. Picky. I get it. Be nice.
I am like an old nag when it comes to him brushing his teeth. I have to. I’ve never seen true green slime growing on someone’s teeth, but I highly believe he could be the first. Hence the nagging. Cause uh, yeah, nasty. He will kill me when he sees this. Maybe not since I feed him though.
Socks. Cute socks, boy socks, wear them all the time. Yet I also think people should specialize in mating them. Charge a service fee and help us families out. I have a basket overflowing with unmatched socks. Can’t stand it.
Ahhh food! I love cooking for my family. Unless I’m tired. Really tired. Then we have what my older son calls “forage for food night” or aka mom ain’t cooking tonight. I’m not proud of those nights. But sometimes they just have to be. #momlife
My church made bags for the homeless. The kind that you can keep in your car and hand out if you have no cash. My 10-year-old called it a blessing bag. So I’ve had it in my car for about a week maybe. I’ve been waiting for the opportunity to bless someone else with this bag. I’ve been praying for my children to be with me when this takes place. What you need to understand though, is that many times when God answers your prayers he’s teaching you a lesson at the same time.
This afternoon I had my five and 10-year-old with me as we took an exit on a mission. And low and behold from the back of the line I can see there’s someone sitting with a cardboard sign in their hand. I immediately grabbed the bag. And then we got closer. And then I could read his sign.
“Lonely little hobo. God Bless tobacco. F*%< Trump.”
Well, my 10 year old saw the sign too. And I out loud observed that not only was he smoking, but he had a beer bottle beside him. And in that moment I became what I despise: a judge of someone else’s character that I didn’t know. I bet it was a good long minute of debating wether or not I should give him this bag.
SHAME ON ME! WHO DID I THINK I WAS? HOW DARE I PUT MY KIDS IN THAT MOMENT OF CONFUSION. THERE WAS NOTHING TO THINK ABOUT.
Holy Spirit knocked the stupid out of me right then.
And as my 10 year old said we shouldn’t give it to him, I told him we shouldn’t be questioning it. It was laid on our hearts to bless him. So he was smoking. So he had a beer bottle, which he could have easily picked up off the ground and filled with water in a gas station bathroom, I didn’t know. I didn’t know. My son pointed out the facts about his sign. I didn’t like it either. But I explained we are called to love others even if we don’t agree with them. I told him Jesus would have already done it. And then I had the opportunity to repeat something I hear often at church. He may be lost, but we may be the only Jesus he will see.
As we pulled up just slightly past him, I rolled down my window and said, “excuse me sir….”
He gratefully took the bag. He said thank you and God Bless. And I studied him in those few seconds. And I prayed for him.
And my children saw what it was like to be Jesus with skin on. To not judge and withhold love because of difference in opinion.
I asked God to forgive me. I thanked him for the toothbrush, food, soap, water and shelter he provides on a daily basis. I thanked him for conviction. And in all of that, I was obedient and set a new outlook for my children.
Do not withhold good from those to whom it is due, when it is in your power to act. Do not say to your neighbor, “Come back tomorrow and I’ll give it to you”—when you already have it with you.
— Proverbs 3:27-28
Those who give to the poor will lack nothing, but those who close their eyes to them receive many curses.
— Proverbs 28:27
Acts 20:35ESV / 83 helpful votes HelpfulNot Helpful
In all things I have shown you that by working hard in this way we must help the weak and remember the words of the Lord Jesus, how he himself said, ‘It is more blessed to give than to receive.’”
I love seeing the same sky in two different perspectives at the same time. I love the art that God has given us to put our eyes upon every day. I pray that I don’t ever take it for granted.
I love my children. I would do anything for them because that’s what you do as a mother. I like writing about the struggles of having a child with ADHD. I like exploring the different views and basically just giving my two cents worth. I want it to be understood and explained. I want to support others in this struggle and also learn from them.
And then there is motherhood. Laundry, cooking, homework, the joy of using the bathroom alone and the guilt of being happy because you’re at the grocery store by yourself. Maybe those two things are backward. I know I’m not alone in that. I know for me it takes a village of support and ideas.
Oh and let us not forget my obsession with amateur photography. I don’t have a fancy camera, but I love having the ability to take any kind of pictures of the things some people don’t get to see, or things people wouldn’t notice. Or just things that I myself like that other people may think I’m crazy for. It’s my happy place.
So what is my niche? How am I possibly going to make my blog successful if I can’t figure out and pinpoint what people like best? How do I take myself out of the equation to serve others? Isn’t that what I’m trying to do? Isn’t that what I’m supposed to do? Or could I possibly be successful with the random, scattered, you never know what you’re going to get blog?
Somebody have some suggestions? Ideas?