Grace and More Grace

This is my brain on ADHD child overload and regular long day meltdown. More recently I feel like this is daily.

The last two days have appeared more frustrating than usual. There’s extra on my plate, and honestly I’m having a hard time keeping it together.

I don’t want to fail my son. I battle with understanding the difference in a normal 10 year old’s behavior versus the behavior of a ten year old with Combined type ADHD. If you don’t have a child with this kind of diagnosis, please keep your rude comments and unfounded know it all opinions to yourself. Yes, I realize that came across rude. However, I’m sick and tired of people judging my parenting and blaming me for not being “hard” enough on my son. Our children need an advocate, and if your thoughts are all negative, well we don’t need or want your help.

The struggle is real. And it’s hard. And people don’t get it. As parents, we blame ourselves anyway. We definitely don’t need someone else’s help in that. Thanks but no thanks. And in blaming ourselves, we are questioning the child that God gave us to parent in the first place! God planned some great things for our child’s lives! But because of man’s skewed thoughts and opinions, we end up questioning ourselves. By doing that, we question God and the hamster on the wheel can’t get off.

One of the best things I’ve seen says that ADHD is not an excuse, but an explanation. Their wiring is different. So as parents, we need to adjust and learn how to approach them so they can be successful. Diet changes, behavior therapy, more self control during their rough moments, and constant reassurance.

And not only do they need grace, but so do we. Parenting such a gift is mentally exhausting. Support us and be open minded. If not then by all means just be quiet.

I saw the following on Pinterest and loved it. I believe it’s going to be very helpful in this journey.

https://graceunderpressure.blog/2017/10/16/what-is-my-childs-executive-function-age/amp/

And I’m thinking of ordering this book:

The Impulsive, Disorganized Child: Solutions for Parenting Kids with Executive Functioning Difficulties https://www.amazon.com/dp/1618214012/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_w6sFAbV1VQYSQ

It’s not gonna hurt anything right? And for the record, while I question my parenting skills often I can say that I am doing the very best that I can.

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From Mr. Ed

Ok so it’s really Mr. Ed delivering a message. And yes, I can plainly see he’s a squirrel. But I let daughter name him. And if you don’t know who Mr. Ed is originally, I’m sorry for you. Really. Classics.

At church I heard something that I’ve heard before. I made a picture of it. I hung it up. It just says it a little bit differently.

You can’t change a problem you don’t own.

And no, you can’t change problems other people have that they will not own. Therefore, we must focus on the reflection. The one we’re portraying. Not just in the mirror, but in how we carry ourselves. One of the hardest things for me is to pretend that something doesn’t bother me. I don’t hide well at all the fact that somebody has hurt my feelings. I don’t have to say it, my face does it for me. So does my body language.

So my lesson for myself is that I need to change the problem I have in regards to my response to those who have a problem with something that’s out of my control. Or even something I can control, but they still want to gripe about. Things can be written clear as day and people will still find a reason to complain. I can’t help them. And believe you me, there’s times I feel completely able to help them. Although Jesus will probably tell me otherwise. It’s called the Holy Spirit slap. And therefore I have to keep my mouth shut. And I will be completely honest with you, I lose sleep and stay in a state of anxiety when I feel like I have a point to prove. And then I get slapped again. Because you know as humans we don’t learn the first time.

But I can own how I respond. And it’s hard. So the question becomes, what answer do I want to give God when he questions me about it?

“Those people are on a dark spiral downward. But if you think that leaves you on the high ground where you can point your finger at others, think again. Every time you criticize someone, you condemn yourself. It takes one to know one. Judgmental criticism of others is a well-known way of escaping detection in your own crimes and misdemeanors. But God isn’t so easily diverted. He sees right through all such smoke screens and holds you to what you’ve done.”

‭‭Romans‬ ‭2:1-2‬ ‭MSG‬‬

http://bible.com/97/rom.2.1-2.msg

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More To It

Sunrise and sunset are magical times. How the light bounces off the trees, land, water, and objects can be breathtaking.

The colors that come with a sunset can just be down right emotional they’re so gorgeous.

Did you know that it was just after sunset that Jesus made a heartbreaking declaration?

“After sunset he came with the Twelve. As they were at the supper table eating, Jesus said, “I have something hard but important to say to you: One of you is going to hand me over to the conspirators, one who at this moment is eating with me.””

‭‭Mark‬ ‭14:17-18‬ ‭MSG‬‬

http://bible.com/97/mrk.14.17-18.msg

At that moment, emotions of enormous proportions took place. And God’s plan to make the ultimate sacrifice was set in motion.

I just can’t look at these sunsets the same. Instead, I will look at them and thank God for his grace and mercy. I will see them as a sign of unconditional love. One that we could never grasp, but one that surely exists.

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One of Nine

My kids were each given a bonsai tree. Cause why not? They are pretty cool. Never mind I had to find a place to put them. Where I will see them 1,000 times a day. And maybe now and then I will water them. Who’s trees are these? I must ponder the depth of this thought.

As I was setting them up ever so gently I noticed they each had a little stone with a word. This one says faith. Faith is the only word. A one syllable word with a Mt. Everest meaning. A word so big some people run from it. Simply because they do not understand it. Those of us who claim to have it still struggle with it. Having it, sharing it, and living it.

James 1:6 6 But when you ask, you must believe and not doubt, because the one who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind.

We walk around sure of where we stand, but the next day something happens and we begin to doubt. We allow ourselves to get shaky. We stop walking on that water of faith and in a panic begin to sink.

God gave us Fruits of the Spirit. Faithfulness being one of those nine. Faith as small as a mustard seed. For where there is faith, there is hope. But we must have an open mind. Closed mindedness means a closed heart. Closed heart means lack of faith. An unwillingness to believe and have hope.

Our faith tends to waver in particular stressful situations. We let fear take over, and that my friends is from no one else but the devil. I believe our biggest fight is between fear and faith. To grow and to produce fruit for His Kingdom, we must win the battle with faith. Many times we just give in to the fear. Which really gets us, well absolutely nowhere. Back to that cruddy stuff.

Galatians 2:20 20 I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live, but Christ lives in me. The life I now live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me.

Did you see it? I live by faith.

So though it seems a mustard seed at times, that seed is there. It can grow. Feed it. Water it. Claim it.

Lighthouse Faith: God as a Living Reality in a World Immersed in Fog https://www.amazon.com/dp/B01CXE9MGS/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_ww.BAbJR02ZQ2

Here’s a good starting point. Of course, so is your Bible. ❤️

Where do you struggle in your faith?

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Breathe

A gorgeous calm day walking some back trails around the lake. No noise but nature noises. Birds, squirrels, airplanes occasionally.

This is my vacation. Sure I’d like to go to Germany, Israel, and Ireland. However, immediate gratification takes place in areas like these. I drag my kids too. Although the only grumbling I get is because I stopped, again, to take a picture. They love being outside exploring as well. That in itself lifts my spirits.

I’m taking them back to this spot. Granted I have to find it again. But what better place to capture the things you love the most? Kids, nature, and pictures. If you need fancy I believe it’s called photography. There’s a special spark in my soul when I see something I want to capture. My tastes are not yours. But appreciation of nature will make a fast friend.

Psalm 19:1 says, “The heavens declare the glory of God; the skies proclaim the work of his hands.”

How true is that? I’d much rather be out on an adventure like this than stuck in a skyscraper looking over a city. These beautiful lands that God has given us are slowly declining and it breaks my heart.

Little things too! Really can you just throw your trash where it goes? Do you really need a 5 bedroom house with a pool and movie theater? Realistically no. Before you get huffy, there’s nothing wrong with wanting a nice dwelling. But those are reasons we are seeing more wild animals in our neighborhoods. You can stop there as well. I’m not a crazy activist, but can we just have a little common sense? Ok rant on that done. Sometimes I just can’t contain myself. I’m sure that wasn’t obvious at all.

See, this solitude calls to me. I feel closer to nature, God, and my anxiety levels tend to disappear. I’m calmer and I can breathe easier. I can think clearer. Unless it’s freezing cold, then the only thought is that I’m freezing. If there was a cabin with a wood burning stove in the middle of this I would be there. I don’t like having to come back to street lights, rude people honking their horns, and people grumbling about what they don’t have.

Nature doesn’t ask or demand. We love it and it flourishes. Simplicity. Nature doesn’t get bossy or grumpy. We love it and we flourish.

There’s a book on amazon if you think I’m making it up. You can get it here.

Your Brain On Nature https://www.amazon.com/dp/1443428086/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_zjKAAbFMM1RY4

So don’t ignore the pull when you see an area catching your eye. Let it help you, and in turn help yourself.

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Pun Intended

Perception, views, outlook, and sight pretty much mean the same thing. It’s all in how you look at things.

It’s your frame of mind. And are you looking through your frame, the world’s frame, or God’s frame? You know I always go there. At least I try to. It’s like talking at myself while I write to you.

I have this list. Ok it’s not written down yet but it’s scrambled in my head. Most likely in messed up order, but let’s pick our battles shall we?

The amazing drawing in the beginning was done by my 10 year old son who just happens to have Combined type ADHD.

If you are not familiar with it, google has it.

This time let’s talk about digestion. As a parent you have to decide when is best for your child to take his medicine. Our kids are different, they take different meds, and many have additional diagnosis alongside ADHD. A mother posted this in a Facebook post today and I personally find it interesting.

I’m not a pharmacist, gastroenterologist, psychiatrist, pediatrician, or medical examiner, or behavior therapist. What I am is a mother who sees her child struggling with things that I can’tfix.

The comments in regard to this posting went from gratitude to some saying it’s ridiculous. So now I will punch you in the head with a few things to consider. Sometimes I’m punny, sometimes not. Oh well. Ok sorry, played with the squirrel.

I for one see absolutely no harm in taking these things out of my son’s diet. I already don’t like Mountain Dew. It’s horrible for anyone. Sprite, pop tarts, etc. are already off the table. Our kids are already geared toward a high carb high sugar diet. Explain why anyone would see a problem eliminating (I have to smile at that word; if you have boys you get it) these things.

See, I’m not gonna try to complicate things by trying to remember the timing of this. If it’s gone, then no worries.

So instead of brushing it aside like citric acid (acid is not a good sounding word anyway) is fine or evil just try not giving this stuff to your kids. It’s not going to kill them (though their behavior sometimes makes us waver momentarily) and you might actually see a difference! If not, no harm, no fowl (had to), and your kid probably ate something better.

Side note-my son will drink clear Gatorade at a friends house and I can see it’s like him drinking a blue or red or yellow one. Does that apply to every kid? Nope. Is he taking the same meds as everyone else? Nope.

This is about finding new ways to help your child, not punish them. It’s not about inconveniencing you as a parent. I get it. Textures, smells, pickiness-it’s a struggle here too. Have something simple because we’re running behind again. I get it. But that’s not giving our kids a good way to continue their eating habits or manage time or learn to make healthy choices.

The battle is real. The clear answers aren’t out there. Yet as parents we need to reach out to others and become our own village. Lord himself has given us these amazing kids for a reason. Maybe we need to finally come together for them.

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Tasty Tips

This new way of eating is showing improvements. They are small, but healing from the inside out takes time. Patience. Not a strength of mine. God has a sense of humor. I’m working it. Really. Ugh.

Learning new information is awesome. The light bulb is on and I’m excited. Most days. Transparency folks. Stay real, it’s ok.

One of my not so great knowledge tabs is knowing exactly what is in season. It really isn’t (for me) as easy as walking in the produce section. You really do want the good stuff for the time. That doesn’t mean stay away. Fruits and veggies are important.

I came across this article that explains what is in season. Personally for me it’s helpful. I feel smarter haha! Even if I have to keep checking the list. It also has tips on saving money. Bonus!

https://www.thistinybluehouse.com/2018/01/22/seasonal-produce-how-to-save-big-on-fruits-and-veggies/

If you want a more frequent reference I found magnets.

Seasonal Produce Magnets – Fruits https://www.amazon.com/dp/0978768701/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_eSEzAb4RNAXTY

Seasonal Produce Magnets – Veggies https://www.amazon.com/dp/097876871X/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_CTEzAbGCH76KH

Yummy recipe ideas? Outside of ones I will attempt to share you can find some here:

COOKING LIGHT Best-Ever Seasonal Recipes: A Cook’s Guide to Peak Produce https://www.amazoni.com/dp/B01EMDH274/ref=cm_sw_r_cp_api_nVEzAbQN6NCGB

Jennyeatworld.com is a new blog with amazing gut healthy recipes as well.

Any ideas? Would love to hear back from you!

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