The Alone Moment

Last night my two youngest had their counseling appointments. My 14 year old was not enthusiastic about it and yet my 8 year old could get there fast enough. She has a punching bag in her room, so motivation is to each their own.

I had to drive the truck which is a huge pain in my rear. Not that there is anything wrong with driving a truck; I’d love a jeep personally. However, it’s over the top too flipping big. And if you enjoy risking concussion with every bump and pothole you would have no complaints. No really I’m not stretching the truth. I have witnesses. My son likes roller coasters and he’s not a fan.

I made the left turn into the parking lot to drive around to the building the long way. Cause I try to avoid running anyone over-I’m not a professional monster truck navigator.

But as I came upon the next turn, I saw him. He was a smaller man, at least appeared to be from my viewpoint. Long white beard, a jacket, and a beanie on his head. Obviously older and pushing his basket of belongings across the barely lit parking lot to my left. Instantly my heart was crushed. He seemed hollow and machine like. I figured he was trying to find a place where he could sleep safely for the night.

I had no choice but to keep going forward on my mom mission and get my kids to their appointment on time. But his presence plays on repeat in my mind and I question myself. Should I have went looking for him and got him a hot meal?

Yes I know it was dark and he is a stranger and it could not have been the grandpa like personality I assumed. There’s just this part of me that feels like I should have done more. Did I fumble an opportunity to do more? Realistically probably not.

Even knowing that, my heart still feels in peril.