I see you speaking to me. I feel you calling me back. I crave the freedom I once carried in you.
I know that it is there. I know it is waiting for me. And I know that every time I feel the change coming back, I’m fighting to give you your power to do what I know you can.
What I can’t understand is the why. Quite honestly I don’t want the burden. I don’t want control, contrary to what it looks like from the outside. Things work much better when I just let you do your thing.
Mark 9:24 “I do believe; help my unbelief!” While writing this, the Spirit put this scripture on my heart. I used to think it meant I had no faith, or it wasn’t good enough. That isn’t it at all. Here’s an article to help explain it. https://www.gotquestions.org/I-believe-help-my-unbelief.html
So I will continue to do the best I can, and keep pushing through this negative until I find my way back.