Not Feeling It

I really had no picture for this post. So the incoming storm seemed sufficient.

Let me preface by saying I wish each and every one of you who fall into this category a blessed Father’s Day. I am personally very thankful for my dad. Technically he would be my stepdad. But he is my dad. He is my rock.

But within my own home, my own walls, this day is not falling easy. I’m downright fighting the ability to celebrate a person who honestly sets more of a “what not to do” example than “what you should do”. I don’t have to say it, my kids see it themselves. I don’t have to tell them, they know. Because I’m trying so hard to raise them to be Godly loving human beings. Perfection is not achievable because that person died on the cross for our sins.

I just don’t know how to fake it. I’m drowning in negativity and I’ve allowed bitterness to build a wall. Yes I’m fully aware that does not go with what my Heavenly Father says to do. So again, I’m struggling. My anxiety is way up there and I’d rather be alone in nature today.