Contrary to popular belief, I am a people person. I enjoy helping people. What I don’t like is going places and being around people who make me feel less than. This is not something I pull out of my backside. It comes from patterns and behaviors I’ve experienced by some first hand.
So yes there are people I can’t be around. Yes, my anxiety gets the best of me sometimes. Yes, some say I’m flaky because of that. It bugs me, but I’m learning that setting boundaries is ok for me. I don’t always have to place myself in situations that make me uncomfortable just to make the statement known that “I’m the bigger person.”
Most don’t get it cause it’s not their struggle. Most who are close to me think I should “suck it up.” Most think I’m being difficult. Which of course is hurtful. And untrue. But they don’t get it, and sadly there’s not much grace in it.
I can’t change them. But I can protect myself.
Nut House Central 
I don’t have to please everyone, I just have to please myself. I have found that as long as the essentials are done, You know they have food, clean toilet, and socks etc lol… then my immediate circle lets my “being difficult” go. I just tell them, I don’t want to, and you can’t make me. 🙂 Now, if you want to cook dinner, and do some laundry I will “try” to be the bigger person you want at this moment. Guess who wins that one 😉 The saying in my house is this. I can’t control what happens outside the 4 walls of this house. But I can control what goes on inside of it, and there will be peace, not tension. If I am not in control of my heart beating 150 bpm well, then I don’t leave these 4 walls 🙂 You are worthy and with ALL the people in the world you can be around the ones that see and appreciate that 🙂
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Thank you so much for this. ❤️❤️
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You are most welcome. Although its called survival 🙂 If we are always the bigger person, push it all the time even when we know what our bodies are physically, mentally, and emotionally telling us what good will we be to anyone? I mean, I know no one can see my anxiety, no one sees, my heart beating that fast, or the nausea, the drums pounding in my ears, the what feels like electricity cursing through my nerves out my findertips, etc. For them it’s not as “real” But for those of us that live inside, well us, we feel it. And lets face it, who is going to feed everybody, do the school shopping, grocery shopping, go to work, do housework(and the list is endless here) if we just “please” everyone elses perception of being the bigger person, and our bodies just say nope done? Survival my friend, survival 🙂
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Know exactly what you mean. Too many people with too many agendas often makes ‘helping out’ a nightmare. So it makes sense to be selective about what you dip into.
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