Word of the Day: Toxic

I’ve had a very long week. Full of a little bit of everything. Not all bad. Just life. But then there have been some triggers and it’s throwing me off balance. This post isn’t about being a drama llama. It’s about some simple education. Which on this end isn’t quite so simple. Confuzzled yet?

Here’s what I have:

What you need to understand is that it doesn’t have to stem from childhood trauma. While that can most definitely play a part, it can come from being in a domestic abuse relationship where you constantly play the same mental abuse games for a long period of time. Have you seen Groundhog Day? The principle applies, but it’s no love story.

These relationships can also come from failed destructive friendships, extended family issues, etc. This is not a military trauma diagnosis. It’s not based on one single event that’s replayed. Before you get crappy, I’m not downplaying PTSD. It’s awful. I will say that C-PTSD to me personally seems harder to learn to cope with. One of the first things you have to do is recognize and admit the toxic scenarios in your life. You can’t learn to heal-you can’t learn to cope until to come to terms with them.

These people will keep us with C-PTSD in a mental world of doubt and panic even more so if we don’t focus on ourselves.

This is so true! Surround yourself with those who are still awaiting for the old you to be found again. You’re in there. But you can’t let the diagnosis or these people dictate your self worth. Trust me-easier said than done. But it can be done.

These people are most toxic to your mental health with this struggle. Anyone really with a self serving ego never wrong mentality is not someone you need to be around all the time. It’s hard, but you have to find time to disengage. Don’t make them the priority. Your well being doesn’t and shouldn’t depend on their entire opinion of you. Cause their opinion is self serving.

One of the worst things I hear is that I’m a horrible parent, I’ve raised disrespectful kids, I don’t care, my priorities are not in order, etc. The list is long.

My brain wants me to feel like a complete failure. I have learned to stop and breathe-stop letting their bs control me. Does it always work? Uh no. Sometimes I call my rocks (strong support system) in utter maniacal hysteria-tears and sobs and curse words in anger. And I call them cause they can walk me off my ledge. These are the people you need if you have these disorders. The episodes are exhausting.

But making sure you use your coping tools is the best way to not drink in the toxic. Past or present.

This entry was posted in anxiety, challenges, Current Posts, Daily Living, daily prompt, faith, family, health, Jesus, Mental Health, Mindfullness, parenting, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

4 Responses to Word of the Day: Toxic

  1. chava61 says:

    I am sorry to read this but hope things improve for you.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I empathise and sympathise. All the best. 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

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