Yes I got it from Pinterest. No, I really didn’t care to take the time to get it differently.
I’m trying to tell myself to stop worrying. I’m trying to stop attempting to make sense of the fact that the same people who are on social media or text/talk to others, can’t return or acknowledge my text. Which to me is just rude. I tell my kids it’s rude. I try to make sure I’m not rude. Why is that so flipping hard???
And I get it. The fact of the matter is I’m just not important in those people’s world. I don’t say that in a “poor me” way. I say that in a “why do I let it hurt me so much” way.
Probably because I continually hope that by reaching out, I will gain some priority in their lives. But I won’t. Yet I keep trying. I walk away, and I come back and try again. What the heck is wrong with me?
This is what I want to send. But I don’t. Cause really it would be out of hurt. I don’t want to hurt others simply because I’m hurt. Hurt people, hurt people. So how do I not respond emotionally in my head to the hurt? How do I stop reaching for the thing that continually goes away? Why do I keep trying.
Because I don’t want to be unimportant in someone’s life that I care for. I don’t want to feel the rejection. So I am trying really hard to focus on those who truly give freely of their time. Because they want to. And I want them to feel loved, listened to, and worthy.
Yes I know God is the only one who really matters. My value is only placed in Him. I’m irritated (obviously) that common decency has ceased to exist. I have got to let those with none go. And I have to know it’s ok. It doesn’t make me a bad person. It means when I really let them go, my ever racing mind will be more quiet.