The idea of these petals resting softly on the clouds…I so badly wanted to express and share how I could see it. Larger than their surroundings, depending on what view I chose to try. This side of them were absolutely beautiful. Brilliant colors. Inviting textures. I’ll try not to break into song. Some of you will get that.
On the other side, edges were ripping and tearing. Dry and shriveling because of the Texas heat. The beginning of ending.
And I had one of those pauses where I could feel the Holy Spirit poking me, but I just couldn’t quite understand the message. I was looking too hard, and not listening hard enough.
See, these roses have two sides, as do I. Black and white. Seems so simple. I have a very deep sense of right and wrong. I have trouble seeing any gray areas. How can one possibly have any kind of balance being stuck in the middle? The middle seems to be a place of hypocrisy and excuses. Justification of poor choices. Ugh. If I screw up, then I screw up. It’s not easy to apologize but I have to. See? Black and white, right and wrong.
So why, as I’m trying to bloom through the scars am I faced with so much confusion? So many unknowns and uncertainty.? So much gray-a maze of guilty blankets I feel weighed down by. Surrounded by sin.
With every step that I move forward, the enemy swings twice as hard.
I must show my strength in Him, when I am faced in the enemy’s throws of weakness.
My black and white is walking in His truth. The gray is the enemy trying to block my path with smoke. And with all the gray we are forced to walk through, I am proud of my black and white truths. I am grateful that I know the difference. No 1/2 truths, no excuses. No “everyone else is doing it” or “it’s the style” reasoning. Peeps, I haven’t been in style for a long time.
And I’m ok with that. Because I somehow know I’m going to explode in a full bloom by fighting through these weeds.