Check Which Box?

It’s such a big decision! And you can’t pick just one. Or should you? Should you pick only one so you don’t look like a big jerk? Or just be honest and hold your breathe?

Apparently I like to look like a jerk. Because if you give me a checklist of all the things that provoke a response from me, it will be too full I’m afraid.

That doesn’t mean I’m joyful for that announcement. It means I’m a work in progress and trust me, I am working very hard. It’s the “do I need to respond” to this kind of work.

If I’m blessed enough to have you read my posts, then you have a good idea that I’m an emotionally driven person. I have a very clear cut view of fairness. For me, most things are black and white. Not much gray for most things. Geeez I have to work on it!

That being said, in conjunction with other things involved, I have to stop and take a step back when/before I respond. My provocation is usually hurt. I’m the first to tell you it comes out in anger, anxiety, or annoyance. Simply not using your manners, not using your turn signal, being inconsiderate, chewing loudly in my ear….you see where I’m going?

I have a responsibility to give grace. I have a responsibility to choose how I respond. I have a responsibility to set a better example for my kids. Especially when it comes to being Christlike.

And yet I find myself responding in many times not very Christlike.

I allow myself to be provoked to anger. That’s not of God. I allow myself to become annoyed and hurt as things approach that I have no control over. That’s not of God.

I have got to get better at falling on my knees and giving it to the one who has ultimate control. Because fear is not of God either. I can say that I’m blessed to be surrounded by some amazing people who love me enough to help me grow and learn through it.

As I move forward, I am hoping to stop checking the stupid boxes over and over. I have confidence that I can do this. Because I am a child of the most high. The only thing I need to do is provoke a love of life and Jesus in others.

This entry was posted in anxiety, Current Posts, Daily Living, Jesus, Mental Health, Mindfullness, parenting, Thankful, Uncategorized and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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