Smoke and Mirrors

good-and-evil-2How many times do you meet someone and wonder how they have it all together?  Or how many times have you found yourself envious of what someone else has?  We have all done it, so it’s okay.  No lying needed.  No cover up required.  Doesn’t mean it happens all the time.  It is a moment in passing, especially if you are working on your walk with our Lord.




I feel like I am beating the dead horse.  I am just so frustrated with people putting on a show.  I have faults, flaws, and I know them.  I will acknowledge them.  Even when having to put my pride aside.  Cause it has to happen that way.  Obviously, I have been through enough to learn these things.  I am sure there is more lessons headed my way.  But people!! You can’t tell one group of people one thing, and then turn and tell someone else something different!

If you tell your work peeps that people respond to your approach, at what point are you going to listen and follow your own words?  Don’t tell someone else to be kind when behind closed doors you are cruel.  There really is no justification in this.  I work so hard to raise my kids in God and his word. The enemy is working overtime to show them the other way.  The sin.  And the enemy is working to make sure I fail.  And at times I do.

Wanna know something?  My kids know that I am not perfect.  Because I go to them and humble myself when I have been in the wrong.  How else will they learn the right thing to do?  I tell them I was wrong.  I tell them I am sorry and I ask for their forgiveness.  Holding yourself above doing this is not following God’s word.  No matter how you twist it.  And no matter how you deny it, one day you will be held accountable.

Back on track…I think.  I am working hard to keep my children grounded in Him. My anxiety causes me to question myself quite often.  Especially in the parenting department.  I have working on the Golden Rule.  I tried to explain to my 3 year old that even if someone is mean to you, Jesus wants you to deliver kindness.  And as we all know, most of us stay in human form during those stressful moments.  I want them to see me be consistent at home and in public.  I don’t want them having mixed signals.  They need a level playing field from me.

Today, I had someone being very unkind to me.  I attempted to respond in human ways, which never works.  So, I just said ok and stopped responding.  That does not ever make it better.  As I found my brain telling me to keep quiet, I found my mouth wanting to respond.  At that very moment, my 3 year old came over and said, “Mom, I want to tell you a secret.”  I picked her up and she whispered in my ear, “When people are unkind to you, Jesus still wants you to be kind to them.”  MIC DROP! BOOM! SLAP! I looked at her, told her she was right, and thanked her.  I shut my trap.  Not because I didn’t have plenty to say.  But because she heard my words.  She heard God’s words.  And who was I to be a hypocrite anymore?  I would rather be held still by my children and the Holy Spirit than not be accepted in to Heaven because of pride.

So all in all.  Be you.  No matter where you are.  I am a dork.  I am emotional, I cry over silly things, I get my feelings hurt easily, I love God, I want to do nothing but help others, and I want my children to be the same.  And I am this way wherever I am.  If you have to be two different people then you are not walking in God’s word.  You are consumed with pride, selfishness, and just and overall misunderstanding of what our purpose for His kingdom is.

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