I have been wanting to write this for a while now. I was not quite sure if I could explain it the way my brain has thought it out. Probably not, but it is worth a try. Here goes transparency.
I love going to church. These days, I am blessed enough to attend two places. But I have found that I am feeling not so connected to one. I don’t have the time available to be as involved as I would like. That is life I guess. I want to do so many things, but feel restricted with my daily things that have to get done. That includes work, homework, etc. Could that be an excuse? Depends on how you look at things. Does it mean I don’t really want to be involved? Not at all. Here’s the thing. I can’t do much, but I can do something. One thing I don’t understand is reaching out and getting empty answers. Should I take it personally? Probably not. But I do. Silly human side.
I feel neglected so to speak. I feel left out and unwanted. Yes I realize that may sound strange coming from an adult my age. But if you truly talk to people, age has nothing to do with it. There is not one person I have ever met that does not want to feel those things. Regardless of how cold hearted they may seem. (No judging remember?)
I digress. As often I do. So while I am holding on to these negative feelings, I go to church on my Thursday night. Blessed beyond what I knew was coming. Our Pastor’s father, Al Rowan was preaching. If you are not familiar with this family, you are truly missing some good teaching. I love both places I go to. Please don’t misunderstand. Both Pastor’s speak differently. But both are on the same page. God’s word. It is the truth and it stands. Firm. On this night Pastor Al was speaking, I was feeling extra emotional about my other church home. Then he spoke. And as usual, when listening, the Holy Spirit hit me. I really felt like a push. It was a “did you catch that” nudge.
Pastor Al said, ” The church didn’t hurt the person. It was the people in the church that hurt the person.” BOOM! SMACK! (If I quoted wrong I apologize now). The church is a safe place. It is a special place to connect with God. To speak with Jesus. To worship and pray. And so it is usually a person or persons that offend us. Either with their actions, or lack of. But we end up blaming the entire church. Does that mean everyone in the place is going to like me? Nope. Does that bother me? Duh. But that is not the reason I go to church.
I go to learn His word and learn how to be a better person. I can’t change how someone looks at me, or what they think of me. All I can do is be better than I was the day before, and the day before that. So truly if I am blaming the church, my heart is not in the right place. Church is a great place to meet people, make new friends, expand your family. But social hour can’t be why you go. Next time you have those feelings, ask why it bothers you. Are you really walking away with His word or worried about who didn’t say hello?
We also have choices. We don’t have to go there. But don’t let people drive you away from Him. You will never be happy that way. I am so blessed. If I want to be more involved in one place than another, that is ok. If my children prefer one over the other, that is ok. Though hard to swallow, but if they are growing in Him what right do we have to complain?
*To hear the message from Pastor Al, go to thegatheringdfw.com and find the message from the last Thursday in December 2016. You should listen to all of them while you are there lol. Sorry, I don’t have the exact date. Too many nuts in this mama squirrel’s head.