I am by far from being a perfectionist. I am also not even close to being obsessive compulsive when it comes to most things. I have piles everywhere. Those of you who relate know that we call this “organized chaos.” I can not put things “where they should be” because I will never remember where that is. EVER. Happens every single time!
I am the mom who leaves half a fish stick uneaten on top of the dog kennel simply because I set it down to accomplish another task. Then, I moved on to another and the dogs received a treat. Or someone in the house was still hungry. I care not to think about that one.
Isn’t it funny though how some things really don’t bother us, yet others drive us to the brink of insanity? I am guilty of that too. Please do not attempt to put the dirty dishes in the dishwasher to be helpful. Actually, by all means do. It is greatly appreciated. However, just be aware that I will come behind you and do some rearranging. Not because you did anything wrong, but because I am that kind of dork.
The dirty dishes ALWAYS go on the left side of the sink. You can’t block the disposal hole. Doesn’t everyone know this rule? If not, now you do. I will ask my family to PLEASE, PLEASE put them on the left….the above is what I get. It may be time for a hearing exam, and not for me. Or you could put them in the dishwasher. You didn’t know if it was empty? Here’s an ingenious idea-open it and look. Even if I am going to move it around, the time and effort on your part is huge. Moving on.
I read an article that I at this particular time am unable to recall. I can remember however one very important part. Our family members, our children are not us. SAY WHAT? Who messed that up? Our children are not us, they do not think like us, they do not create like us, and their motivations are different. Obviously, there are things we must influence to make sure they are decent human beings. (respect, caring, common sense, integrity, unselfishness) But we have to pick our battles. My youngest son keeps going outside without shoes. Then having a cow because he has a sticker in his foot. Yes it hurts. Finally got it through to him that he is not allowed outside without shoes. So when he came out with two different shoes, I had a choice. Be the “that’s not what I said” mom or pick that battle. Does it really matter that his shoes for outside play don’t match? NO. Is that what I would do? NO. Yet he has shoes on like I asked. He is not me, and I need to give him props for listening. Even though I don’t understand it. What a revelation.
Do I really need to have such a fit cause the dishes are on the right side of the sink? Probably not. Thank you oldest son for getting your cup into the sink to begin with and not leaving it on the table. It’s not easy. I have to remind myself consistently that they are going to do things differently. Does it mean they won’t get the same result? Not necessarily. Shoot, maybe they will come up with something better. Parents don’t seem to want to admit that their child could be smarter in some things. However, maturity comes with age and experience. For the most part, we do know more about what we are talking about than you choose to give us credit for. We love you anyway.
They will not do things the way we want 100% of the time. The real question is, “did they do their best for them?” My youngest son is not going to clean his room just like me. But his clothes are put up and the floor is quite visible and can be vacuumed without breaking the suction. Will my oldest study and write things the same way I did? No, even though I find myself trying to convince him otherwise. That’s when the Holy Spirit taps on my shoulder and reminds me to support him. If he is doing his absolute best, then who am I to say it’s wrong?
Here is something I have noticed with ALL of my children. They will pick up the negative aspects of your character first. Because that’s what they see you focus on. When I am overwhelmed and irritated, I have a tendency to say I am just tired. So says my oldest son. If they see you always treat people in a particular way, especially a not so nice one, they will take that on. Because it is what they see. And that my friends is exactly the opposite of what we are trying to do. Of course we are human. Yet our children need to know that it is okay to mess up. It is not okay to treat someone like poo poo because they disagree with you. Want to be a testimony? BE REAL AND BE WHO GOD DESIGNED YOU TO BE! (learned that again in church)
We are all different. Thank goodness! (I love my children-I do not want identical forms of them though) If we want perfection from our children, then I hope you can look in the mirror and know before our Lord that you are sinless. I know that I am not. I can’t expect something from someone that I am not myself. That’s why Jesus died on that cross-to cover our screw ups. Even the ones we make multiple times before we get it. I am trying to focus on the main battle. Their soul.
So don’t be bothered that I can’t get my picture to rotate correctly. Be happy that all this stuff is off the floor. And I didn’t say one negative thing about it.
Titus 3:2 To speak evil of no one, to avoid quarreling, to be gentle, and to show perfect courtesy toward all people.
Proverbs 15:1 A soft answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger.
Galatians 5:22-23 But the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, self-control; against such things there is no law.