The Brick Wall with ADD/ADHD and Diagnosis [1-28-2016]

3Did I already tell you that I was in denial about my son being diagnosed with this?  If not, now you know.  What I did not realize, is that it would be so hard to really and truly get help for him.  His therapist warned me.  I was convinced for whatever cosmic reason, we would not have any issues.  It would be easy-peasy.  I like peas, but I don’t feel like having them thrown at me like grenades. 


I feel like I have hit a brick wall.  I feel like I am trying to knock down a concrete barrier with a gigantic tank.  For whatever reason, the tank is not making any noticeable progress.  The doctor wants him screened but believes he has a learning disability.  He is in 2nd grade reading at the beginning of 5th grade level. He makes good grades, despite the warfare of homework time.  Maybe there is something we can’t see.  The school does not really feel he is in need of the special evaluation because he is not the “standard” of what is looked for.  No, I do not have to go through the school district to get him evaluated.  Yet insurance does not cover the screening.  You can be reimbursed, which doesn’t really help if you can’t pay up front. It is expensive. We are blessed to have a therapist who has shared the information of Wright’s Law.  It is still a lot to try to learn. If you have been in my shoes, please by all means fill me in on how not to get thrown in jail by trying to be his advocate.  Minus the dilemma of not being around to make sure he’s getting taken care of.  If you have gone to school and received a flattering  degree to be an underpaid teacher, first I want to thank you.  Really.  It’s a wonderful career to take on. Second, do they teach you at all how to identify these types of disorders?  I am not saying that to be a smart butt.  If you think otherwise, please kiss mine.  I thought it was something easy, but when you really begin to educate yourself the information can be overwhelming.  Have you ever tried to run backward inside of a tornado?  Me either and I don’t want to.  Although, wading through my son’s room could be a reasonable comparison. God says, “In your anger, do not sin.”  Lord I ask that you give me guidance, understanding and sympathy.  I ask for you to help me hold my tongue and not make drastic irrational assumptions before I have all the details.  It may be a bit late for that, so I am asking for forgiveness.  I really don’t go around waving “YOU SUCK” signs.

As adults, as teachers you hold a very high authority in a child’s eyes.  Maybe as much if not more so than the parents.  Your words, no matter how well intended can cause emotional distress you can’t fathom.  You don’t see the tears when they get home.  You don’t see how they self abuse themselves saying everyone thinks they are dumb, they can’t do anything right.  No one wants to be around them.  You don’t see them feel so bad about a poor choice to someone else’s feelings that they are slumped on the floor in tears, hitting themselves in the head, or hitting the wall out of self anger and frustration.  I was so blessed to learn all that I did at my former job.  They taught us so much about approach and good communication with the family. I wish I had “gotten” it all sooner, but I got it.  And I used it.  And it makes a difference.  Documentation.  The parent’s want to know the good and the bad.  You have to work as a team.  Maybe the child doesn’t understand what you were trying to say in the first place.  Are you talking over their head?  Make it simple.  Get down on their level.  As a parent, I think I speak for most of us; please love our babies.  They may not be yours, but they are loved and there are things happening behind the scenes that you are not fully aware of.  God has blessed us with their presence.  We are not perfect.  But we are to be setting the example to the best of our ability.  I do not know exactly who said this, but it used to be written on the mirror in the kids’ bathroom.  “Taste your words before you spit them out.”  I am not an idiot.  We all struggle with this.  These are little ones. They are not mini adults. Just love our babies.  Learn from them as well.  Even in your frustration.


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