Mama vs. Diagnosis (Feb 2016)


Just so you have an idea, mama is not a happy squirrel.  She’s not a happy camper, individual, or at this very moment in time a happy human being.  It is all situational for right now.  Yes I am grateful to have another day, have my family, etc.  However, if you have ever tried to get help for someone only to be told they are not screwed up enough, you will know exactly where I am coming from.  If you have also experienced the wonderful lectures about how there is something wrong with your child, but when seeking the truth all of the sudden there is not a problem.  There is no issue.  Now it’s every other excuse to be used as to what is going on.

I just never really understood that you would have to fight so hard to prove there is something wrong with your child’s brain.  Believe me, I am the first to admit yet again that I spent a lot of time in the denial chamber.  No parent wants to say those words.  No parent wants to say their child is not like everyone else in the overall everyday how you should be acting scenario.  Of course we do not want something to be wrong.   God made him that way, there is a wonderful purpose.  Yet when the tears are flowing, there is no Neosporin and Band-Aid that will heal it in the next 24 hours or even week.  This is a wound that your child has to live with. It doesn’t just affect them either.  How do you feel when you get frustrated over something and someone comes along and says, “You’re doing it wrong” or “Why can’t you just do this the way I said?”  You get angry usually because those words hurt your feelings.  Imagine a child hearing these things over and over and over.  Knowing they are doing their best.  Knowing that they don’t want to make poor choices but they don’t have an answer to change it.  What you may not realize, is that you are making them feel something they carry around on a daily basis: that they are dumb.  That they can’t do anything right.  That they are so intimidated by a particular surrounding all of their energy is focused on getting through that harrowing part of the day.  Then, they come home where it should be safe, and they fall to pieces from the weight they have been carrying. Instead of trying to redirect or just love them, parents have a tendency to continue the same treatment.  “Why do I have to keep telling you the same thing over and over?”  We just don’t understand.

For a child with ADHD, they are not trying to annoy you.  They are not intentionally getting on your nerves and going out of their way to make you angry.  Would you choose to do that day in and day out?  I would hope not.  Yet even knowing somewhere in their heart and mind that choice may not be correct, they do it anyway.  It’s called impulsivity and it is one of the biggest struggles I face with my child.  I can only imagine how the struggle feels for him.  It’s so hard to think you can’t turn off that switch, no matter how hard you try.  Can you turn off a switch you don’t know is on all the time?

I recently read an article posted by Laurie Dupar and Coaching for ADHD.  It was from and it’s called I’m Not Embarrassed by My Child’s ‘Made Up’ Diagnosis. Love it!  If I haven’t covered it yet, this mom does. Every word, emotion and battle is true!  Really, if you don’t have to deal with these things it’s hard for you to imagine that it’s any thing other than something some strong discipline wouldn’t fix.  Guess what?  Most of the time your basic discipline strategies just don’t work.  Try wrapping your brain around that! And your heart, and your tears, and your last worn nerve.

Through it all, all you want to do is love them and make the world a nicer place.  You want to yell at those who refuse to see what is really there.  Unfortunately, your emotions are going to be your advocate for your child. The frustration is overwhelming.  I do feel grateful that there are those looking out for him.  All I can do is continue to pray that others will see it too.  In the meantime, I am asking for your prayers.  I am asking God to help me choose my words and lead me in the direction of those who can lead me with wisdom, and not anger, hurt, and fear.

This mama has to take care of her babies.  Let’s get in this ring together and take care of our babies together. With God steering us.

This entry was posted in 2016 TMS Archives, ADHD and ADD, anxiety, Current Posts, Daily Living, Mental Health, parenting and tagged , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s